I am so grateful for each woman who shares her story with us. There is power in connection and vulnerability. Melissa is an amazing woman who I love being around. She radiates a love for life that is contagious. You can feel her strength and her resilience when you are around her. When you read her story you will see that life hasn’t turned out the way she planned but she has embraced it and made it wonderful. I just love her attitude and her strength! Thank you for sharing and being a wonderful example to all of us Melissa.
Melissa’s Story:
When I was a teenager I imagined a yellow brick road to eternal bliss upon which I would perfectly make everyone in my circles happy and proud of me. I would have a joyful marriage with adventures my husband would plan for us, a handful of kids and I would be totally appreciated as a stay-at-home mom. Today I am 46 years old with 5 awesome kids. I’ve been divorced twice and have needed YEARS of therapy to recover from two deeply damaging marriages (and divorces) and very low self-esteem. At times I felt hopeless, weak and all I could do was cry and wish for someone to come save me.
I have had to redefine my hopes and dreams and take charge of them myself. Amazing therapists and my own determination have guided me to develop the strength to trust myself, learn my own value, and feel empowered to create my own happiness. It has been so hard and has not come naturally to me! I now work full time, run my own household, and recognize that I no longer need or want someone to save me. I have learned how to save myself!
I didn’t use to practice the art of being kind to myself. Did you know perfection is impossible? It has taken time to gently understand that I am just doing the best I can in each deficient moment and with each mistake. Instead of criticizing myself, I have worked to view each fall as a teaching moment and learn from it. I needed to accept my imperfections and love myself exactly as I am. This has been crucial! Without even realizing it, I’m also teaching my kids about self-care by showing them what that looks like when I handle my mistakes with grace and take time for myself to go on adventures for personal fulfillment.
How does a single mom express her adventurous side? “Mom Fieldtrips” with my incredible kids started out small with local hikes. All we needed were shoes on our feet and a map on my phone. As I have become more courageous, our activities have progressed into weekends out of town camping, spelunking, and strapping on microspikes so we can hike to frozen waterfalls.
Another step in my journey has been slowly testing my courage without my kids. Last fall for the first time I spent a few weekends canyoneering and I even rappelled down a 300 foot drop-off! I am so proud of myself. When I head into the mountains I feel the weight of life on my shoulders. Once I hit the trail those worries disappear because of the beauty surrounding me. I’m the girl who exclaims every 10 feet, “Oh! What a gorgeous view! Look at the river! Can you hear the birds?” Being out in nature is therapy for my soul.
One thing that has been missing for me in these adventures has been connecting with women who are looking for the same thing. Last fall I found Get Out There Girl and a few other female-based hiking groups. In January I was able to go up to Starr Valley, Wyoming on a dogsledding weekend with Brittany and 10 women I had never met before. I was nervous! Would they like me? Would I feel comfortable? Would I like them? I was thrilled to discover that each of these women also came seeking connection. We shared about our relationships and experiences in open ways that allowed us to get to know each other’s hearts and intentions. Brittany taught a workshop on vulnerability that resonated with me. You get what you put into something. If you come into a situation willing to listen and share with open hearts, you’re going to be able to connect with people who are doing the same thing.
Life is happier when I am kind to myself and I make myself a priority. I can’t wait to meet more women who are doing the same and to see where my next adventures will take me!
I met Delee on the Zipline Retreat. It was her birthday and the retreat was her birthday present. Delee radiates confidence and happiness. I love the story that she shares about connecting who she is and what she is passionate about with a mission to make the world a better place. That is true alignment if you ask me.
Delee’s Story:
I grew up in the Northwest on a small farm with a lot of room to explore. I spent my time playing with my siblings in the woods, working the farm, and chasing my pony who liked to run away down the street. As I became a teenager my friends, job, and appearance became my top priorities. Shopping was my main hobby and I spent almost all my hard-earned income on clothing. My budget changed as I went to cosmetology school, got married, and had four children by the time I was 31. I found myself shopping for clothing regularly, finding deals and discounts, and constantly rotating my wardrobe thinking I was doing some good by donating my clothing to charitable organizations. Then I found Slow Fashion. I stumbled upon a YouTube influencer who challenged my shopping habits and opened my eyes to the global impact of the fast-fashion world. I was shocked! Did you know we own 60% more clothing than our parent’s generation and we keep them half as long? Did you know there is currently enough clothing on our planet to clothe the next 6 generations? Did you know the fashion industry is the most labor-intense industry on the earth, and that most garment workers don’t make a living wage? I started making small changes, then bigger changes and eventually decided to start a business to help other women do the same. I am a wardrobe stylist who encourages my clients to love what they have and shop sustainably. What an adventure it has been! I find myself reconnecting with my childhood self. I have spent more time outdoors, enjoying long walks and hikes. For my birthday I chose an outdoor adventure, instead of shopping. (A zip line retreat with Brittany!) I have made new friends, so many incredible women! I have found my passion: Connecting with women, healing our planet, and making the world a better place for labor workers around the world.
I met Emily through my husband’s work. She was gracious enough to go to lunch with me and share her business expertise. Ever since that day I have been drawn to Emily. Her positive energy and self confidence are contagious. Emily is a supportive friend who remembers details that other friends might forget. She is an amazing woman who adds value wherever she goes. I am so thankful she was willing to share her story. I learned a lot from her and I know you will as well.
Emily’s Story:
I think I was born with high self-esteem. I LOVE MYSELF. Truly. People ask how I learned to love myself so completely, but I don’t know, which is why I think I must have been born with it. I’m not the ideal body type and never have been, but that has never affected my deep-rooted knowledge that I am beautiful. I also think I’m pretty funny, but I’m self-aware enough to know that sometimes I’m the only one laughing at my jokes…and that’s ok! Something I want all women to know is that it’s not prideful to have self-love.
Even with my insanely high self esteem, I’ve had times where I let people “get in my head”. I’m a bold and bright personality and there have been people close to me that in the name of “helping” tried to tone me down. I was told my passion, my appearance, my style, etc were not the norm and that I needed to tame them down to fit in and get ahead.
In all my life, I’ve never tried to fit in, however as a responsible adult I wanted to listen to the feedback from people I thought had my best interest at heart. So, a few years ago I bought clothes that were more neutral, spoke up less in groups, dyed my hair blonde (I hated it, but a well meaning friend suggested it), and frankly got more boring. As a response to everything else being muted at that time, I dyed my hair bold red, and it’s a decision I will never regret (I LOVE it).
Now, I have plenty of room for improvement, but it took some time and skill to learn to differentiate between the people in my life that truly had my best interest at heart and those that cared more about appearances and didn’t understand my unique ability to not care what the generic public thinks of me (I reserve the caring for my inner circle).
My “wake up” moment was meeting, Bob, the kind of person that is your instant best friend. Almost in the first breath, he had me googling “Bob Quick’s Journey” to see for myself his amazing accomplishments, including bicycling across america (3x), having 32 heart procedures in the last 16 years, 20 stents, and most recently a quadruple bypass surgery. We became friends on Facebook and he is continually the most encouraging and positive person. I met Bob when he was at work, helping me buy a new door. Even in a professional setting, he could completely own who he is and Bob’s total openness instantly endeared me to him. Bob’s light sparked the realization (or perhaps remembrance) that it’s our beautiful differences that not only make us human, but also attract friendships.
I moved into a new house during the couple of years I spent suppressing my more bold nature and truly struggled to make close friends. I love all my neighbors and positively feel a friendship with all of them, but had no best friend. I shed many tears seeing women enjoy close friendships, but honestly didn’t know how to forge one of my own. It was hard. I went on a lot of solo hikes during that time (the mountains are my balm). There’s something about the fresh air, achieving a new height, feeling the refreshing spray of a waterfall, meandering a trail, and enjoying God’s varied creations that fills my soul with peace and joy. It’s a renewal that I treasure!
Something that held me back from inviting friends hiking, is that I’m very slow. But, this last Summer I pushed past my worry that I’d hold my more spry friends back and shared some great hikes and walks with a few incredible women, and on occasion their families. Communing with nature and people is a magical combo.
The reclaiming of my oddities this past year opened the door to finally making some dear friends, which has been very fulfilling. It takes some serious faith to let go of inhibition and “bee yourself” (as the genie in Aladdin says), but it has greatly helped me connect with people in deeper, more meaningful ways. Accept yourself flaws and all, and I believe that invites others to feel comfortable being their flawed self with you.
P.S. I love people and making new friends, if you do too let’s connect on Instagram @mcleanentertain
Sheri is my mom’s bf and coworker. For years I have heard how amazing and how adventurous she is. Every word was true. Sheri is a woman who has values and knows her value. I have loved getting to know her through GOTG activities. Now I know why my mom loves her so much. She is fabulous!
Sheri’s Story:
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children. A belief that I held in my childhood was that I needed to fight for attention. That felt that I was unwanted and unloved. This carried over into adulthood and into a marriage that was unhealthy. This situation created more self-destructive beliefs about who I was. I believed that I was hard to be around and unlovable. I believed there was nothing special about me at all. I ended up in a divorce that was a roller coaster ride. I started dating and this was a train wreck. One thing I did gain from dating is that I did have qualities that were at least likable. I learned through so many years of self-doubt and self-disapproval that I was unable to love myself. This caused me some serious self-reflection. I am very skilled in self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
I am a professional at self-reflection. I like to examine every story that I find bouncing around in my head. This can be both good and bad. Through self-reflection, I have learned some habits of self-compassion. I ask myself- Is this true? Then I reflect on how the story that is my head is from my perspective. Did this person intentionally think “how can I make Sheri’s life horrible?” And the answer is always no. They have their own story. This process is something that I ask about myself as well. Did I intentionally hurt myself or others? And the answer is always no. Do I know better now? Was I doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time? This helps me from feeling shame or disappointed in myself. This is a practice I DO EVERYDAY. How can I use the experience to learn and grow? When I ponder truths that I know about myself, such as I am a divine daughter of God and I was created with special talents that I need to create a life full of love and compassion for myself and others. That I am sent to earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. When I think about these things I am able to process the frustrations of life. Sometimes when thoughts come into my head I ask myself is this true? And when it is not, I visualize the thought on a conveyor belt and tell myself “It was just a thought it is not your truth” This helps me be more compassionate with myself and others.
When I went on the retreat with Get out their girl, I expected to be the uncool and socially awkward one in the group. After meeting and being around all the women at the retreat I realized that we are all the same. We all feel insecure at times. I was blessed to get to know and be around such a fun group. I felt love and acceptance from each of them individually and as a whole group. I will continue to work on my self-compassion every day until I am a self-compassion, self-love guru.
Sheri is my mom’s bf and coworker. For years I have heard how amazing and how adventurous she is. Every word was true. Sheri is a woman who has values and knows her value. I have loved getting to know her through GOTG activities. Now I know why my mom loves her so much. She is fabulous!
Sheri’s Story:
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children. A belief that I held in my childhood was that I needed to fight for attention. That felt that I was unwanted and unloved. This carried over into adulthood and into a marriage that was unhealthy. This situation created more self-destructive beliefs about who I was. I believed that I was hard to be around and unlovable. I believed there was nothing special about me at all. I ended up in a divorce that was a roller coaster ride. I started dating and this was a train wreck. One thing I did gain from dating is that I did have qualities that were at least likable. I learned through so many years of self-doubt and self-disapproval that I was unable to love myself. This caused me some serious self-reflection. I am very skilled in self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
I am a professional at self-reflection. I like to examine every story that I find bouncing around in my head. This can be both good and bad. Through self-reflection, I have learned some habits of self-compassion. I ask myself- Is this true? Then I reflect on how the story that is my head is from my perspective. Did this person intentionally think “how can I make Sheri’s life horrible?” And the answer is always no. They have their own story. This process is something that I ask about myself as well. Did I intentionally hurt myself or others? And the answer is always no. Do I know better now? Was I doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time? This helps me from feeling shame or disappointed in myself. This is a practice I DO EVERYDAY. How can I use the experience to learn and grow? When I ponder truths that I know about myself, such as I am a divine daughter of God and I was created with special talents that I need to create a life full of love and compassion for myself and others. That I am sent to earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. When I think about these things I am able to process the frustrations of life. Sometimes when thoughts come into my head I ask myself is this true? And when it is not, I visualize the thought on a conveyor belt and tell myself “It was just a thought it is not your truth” This helps me be more compassionate with myself and others.
When I went on the retreat with Get out their girl, I expected to be the uncool and socially awkward one in the group. After meeting and being around all the women at the retreat I realized that we are all the same. We all feel insecure at times. I was blessed to get to know and be around such a fun group. I felt love and acceptance from each of them individually and as a whole group. I will continue to work on my self-compassion every day until I am a self-compassion, self-love guru.
Chelsea and I met over a year ago at her first GOTG retreat. She had just moved to Utah from Ohio and was looking for friends who loved the outdoors. I will forever be grateful for hashtags because that is how Chelsea found GOTG. Chelsea has become a good friend who I love hanging out with every chance I get. She is fun, genuine, honest, and kind. All the things I look for in a friend.
