Ronda was my next-door neighbor in Virginia. She and her husband bought their home shortly after we bought ours. Our oldest two kids are the same ages and in fact, both of our 12-year-old’s are redheads. So fun! Ronda was the best neighbor. She always invited us over for holidays and other events. She and her husband Jason are such good people. Here’s the deal though, I never got to know Ronda on a deep level. I was so wrapped up in my busy life of two little kids etc. that I never asked her deeper questions. I never took the time to really get to know Ronda. I regret that. I’ve changed a lot since my struggle with depression etc. I value relationships more. I’m grateful Ronda and I still keep in touch through social media and I’m so so grateful she was willing to share her story of finding peace in herself and with God.
Ronda’s Story:
Hi, my name is Ronda. I am a wife, mother of 3 wild boys, and work in the SPED department at a local high school. I am originally from California, but have my current residence in northern Virginia. I have a big heart, and I am a people pleaser. As I get older (almost 45-years-old now) I am re-learning my worth. Also, since late in my teen years, I have longed for a place that felt like home. Can anyone relate?
I was raised in a what seemed like a perfect Christian home. I went to church with my family and went to private school until 6th grade. I never thought divorce would occur in my family. Fast forward to when I was about 19, and yep, my parents divorced. The only place that seemed normal was Grandma’s house. She and her home were exactly the same. It was safe and warm. Comfort at its finest.
I decided when I was 24, I needed a new start, and moved to Louisiana. This is where my mom moved after the divorce and where my mother’s side of family lived. I thought for sure home will be there. Nope, not a fit. Wonderful people, but not a place for me.
Fast forward a few years, and I move back to California. Met my husband and had our firstborn son. He got a call for a new job in Northern Virginia, and off into the sunset we went. As I sit here today, I cannot say Virginia has been bad. In fact, we have had 2 more sons, bought a house, and we both have fabulous jobs. Being in a new place and having young children I yearned for friends, other moms to hang out with and understand me, a place to feel my worth and to feel validated. So, I joined our elementary school PTO. I even eventually, became the PTO President. I am shaking my head at this right now. If you are looking to feel validated and worthy, the PTO is NOT where you will find it! I am in no way saying volunteering for PTO, or any organization is bad. In fact, I feel is necessary. Just not to the point of giving yourself away, to exhaustion. I really wanted to just share my time and talents. However, with the good comes the bad, and my people pleasing was in the forefront. I did learn and grow during this time and my PTO board and I were very successful, despite the heavy criticism. We worked our tushes off! The only good thing to come from that experience was the close bonds of sisterhood I developed with three ladies, Becky, Amanda, and Letitia and the support we helped provide our children’s school. I already had about a handful of friends in another city 15 minutes south, but having sister like friendships 5 minutes from home was what I like to say was a divine intervention. God sent them to me.
While I was PTO President, as I said above, I had severely depleted myself, in every way possible. I gave it all away and had nothing left for myself. With the help of my sisters and husband, I realized I was in desperate shape. January 2018, I made a change in my exercise and diet and realized I was worthy of better! And I then reached out to my step-sister in Utah. I needed an adventure! Nature was calling.
A few years ago, my husband, my boys, and I got a Groupon for a cabin in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. The Smoky Mountains look and smell like Heaven on earth! I have never felt so much peace in my life! It felt like I was home! We have since been back twice. Once for our 10-year Anniversary and again with my father and family for Thanksgiving. Every time, it felt like home. If you want to make me happy, take me to the mountains. I never knew this about myself! Ronda, a mountain girl!
So, after I finished my duties in 2018 as PTO President, I knew I needed mountains. I traveled to Utah, Idaho, and Yellowstone, and visited with family and friends. I went white water rafting in Yellowstone. I went trap shooting with my dad in Yellowstone. I was home once again! Side note, I went without my kids or hubby. I needed time to be me. It is not selfish, it was necessary.
Long story short, I found my home in GOD! He gave me the friends my soul desired. He gave me the family that I needed. He has built this beautiful land for us to restore ourselves! He shows us we are worthy. We never need to question that! When we seek the worlds approval (PTO, friends or family who gossip, bad jobs, keeping up with the Jones’s, just to name a few), we will never find that validation. We will never find peace. You will never find your home.
God never asks us to give more than we can give. We take that on ourselves. If we sit patiently, and we are rested for His work and needs, we will never be put out or tired. In fact, I know it is from God when I am full of joy and peace.
We are worthy and loved. He will supply all our needs. He will restore you! God is our home. Our comfort and peace. He will send you His best in friends. Most times, when God sends these special friends, they become family. You find comfort and understanding. You never have to fight for their attention. You never have to worry for their approval or if they will talk behind your back. When God sends his best, know your soul will feel complete. He will send you that perfect job! He did for me, and that is a whole other story!
And mommas, or daddies, when you need a moment to yourself. Go for that drive! Go to your place of peace. Smell that open air. You are worth it! You need that peace to be a complete and healthy person. You need time rest and restoration. You need HIM!
Jennie is my next door neighbor. When I read her story I was shocked. One of my favorite things about Jennie is how comfortable she is with herself. I love being around her because she doesn’t try to be anything other than herself. It’s so refreshing! We can all learn a lot from her. Thanks for sharing Jennie!
Jennie’s Story:
Most of my friends today would probably have a hard time believing that when I was young, I was probably one of the most shy people on the entire planet. I talked plenty and was pretty normal at home, but I would hardly say anything while spending the entire day at my babysitter’s house, prior to starting school. It only grew worse in kindergarten. I spent the entire year of kindergarten not saying a single word to my teacher or any of my classmates. I would often get the lid of my cardboard pencil box stuck down inside the box and couldn’t get it out. I would take it to my teacher and just hold it out to her. One time she told me she wouldn’t fix it again unless I asked her to. Of course, it happened again, I wouldn’t ask, and she just had to fix it for me. Another time I was muttering something to myself while doing some work at my desk and was caught by the student sitting next to me. I remember them proclaiming, “She speaks!” I was horrified. At recess I would just walk around the playground and observe all the other kids playing because I refused to talk with any of them.
Luckily, this didn’t continue in 1st grade, but I continued to be quite shy the rest of my school years. I never raised my hand. I only answered questions if I was called on. I would offer the bare minimum participation if it was a class where my grade depended on it. I would get very nervous to give presentations in front of my class. I had friends and hung out with them at lunch, but usually offered very little to any conversations. I was the best listener in that period of my life. My friends could tell me anything because they knew I wouldn’t pass it on to others.
Sports have always been a huge part of my life and they were a haven for me as I grew up so shy. In elementary school I was usually found on the playground to be playing tetherball, handball, basketball or football. I could enjoy my passions without having to say a whole lot while participating. I played on softball and soccer teams every year and gained most of my friendships, outside of church, from participating on a team.
I also had an amazing friend that came into my life when I was a freshman in high school. Our ward boundaries at church were changed that year and I was super upset about it at first. My closest friend at church, who had been my friend since 2nd grade, was being moved into a different ward. I was already shy and was starting high school, so this was bad timing, or so I thought. However, after some new families were put into our ward, a girl from one of them really showed interest in being my friend. She pursued our friendship very hard and was really able to get me to open up to someone outside my family more than I ever had before. We became inseparable throughout my years in high school.
Besides this friend, my biggest joys in high school came from playing on our varsity softball team for four years. Our team was really good! We were named National Champions my senior year by USA Today. Spending four years on this team, playing with at least three future USA softball team members and winning championships really helped me to develop a strong confidence in myself despite my natural shyness. At the softball banquet at the end of each year, the seniors would give speeches. Of course, this really stressed me out leading up to my senior year, knowing I would one day have to deliver a speech to our team, coaches, parents, and whoever else was there. During my senior year I would sometimes be asked by teammates what I planned to say at the banquet. I would always reply that I wasn’t sure. The banquet arrived and the three other seniors all had their speeches written out and prepared and they were visibly nervous, which is normally how I expected to be. They were shocked to see that I didn’t have a speech prepared on paper at all! I had experience giving talks in church each year, as a youth, to the entire congregation, so I was blessed to have more public speaking experience than my other teammates. They had probably only spoken in front of classes, and therefore, were about to deliver a speech to their largest crowd. They all gave pretty quick speeches and then I took my turn last. I went to the microphone and just started speaking. I told stories and memories from my four years on the team, talked far longer than the others, and then ended my speech. The room was in complete amazement of what I had just done!
After high school, I left southern CA and went to Ricks College in Rexburg, ID. I didn’t know a single person who was going to Ricks College that year and I was about to meet five roommates I knew nothing about. I had gained confidence in myself through high school while playing softball, having a close friend and learning how to speak in public. I decided that I was going to completely change as I went off to college. When everyone knew me as the shy kid it was hard to change into anything else, especially when it was against my nature, and I was comfortable in that role. However, as I was starting from scratch in a new environment, where no one knew me or had labeled me, I was able to find the confidence to put myself out there, open up to others, and offer my opinions in classes, at church, or in social situations. I found my college years to be very rewarding as I made some great friends, continued to play softball on the Ricks College team, pursued new interests, and found new passions.
Today, I feel far away from that deathly shy little girl. Today, as many probably know, it is hard to get me to stop talking when I am roped into a conversation about one of my passions: sports, politics, the gospel, my family, my hobbies, etc. When I speak in public, give talks at church, or teach a lesson, I still don’t write the entire thing out. I just have an index card with some notes and a direction for where I want my thoughts to go. I am living proof that our weaknesses can become strengths! The more I connect with others, the more I have become my true self. I believe shyness may have been my true nature then, but I was meant to learn, grow, and overcome that nature so that I could reach my full potential. I have been on a few retreats with Get Out There Girl and I have never felt out of place or uncomfortable, even if I didn’t know a majority of the women there. I love that I can feel comfortable around others, especially those I am getting to know. Being shy was very restrictive, but leaving it behind has been freeing!
Sheri is my mom’s bf and coworker. For years I have heard how amazing and how adventurous she is. Every word was true. Sheri is a woman who has values and knows her value. I have loved getting to know her through GOTG activities. Now I know why my mom loves her so much. She is fabulous!
Sheri’s Story:
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children. A belief that I held in my childhood was that I needed to fight for attention. That felt that I was unwanted and unloved. This carried over into adulthood and into a marriage that was unhealthy. This situation created more self-destructive beliefs about who I was. I believed that I was hard to be around and unlovable. I believed there was nothing special about me at all. I ended up in a divorce that was a roller coaster ride. I started dating and this was a train wreck. One thing I did gain from dating is that I did have qualities that were at least likable. I learned through so many years of self-doubt and self-disapproval that I was unable to love myself. This caused me some serious self-reflection. I am very skilled in self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
I am a professional at self-reflection. I like to examine every story that I find bouncing around in my head. This can be both good and bad. Through self-reflection, I have learned some habits of self-compassion. I ask myself- Is this true? Then I reflect on how the story that is my head is from my perspective. Did this person intentionally think “how can I make Sheri’s life horrible?” And the answer is always no. They have their own story. This process is something that I ask about myself as well. Did I intentionally hurt myself or others? And the answer is always no. Do I know better now? Was I doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time? This helps me from feeling shame or disappointed in myself. This is a practice I DO EVERYDAY. How can I use the experience to learn and grow? When I ponder truths that I know about myself, such as I am a divine daughter of God and I was created with special talents that I need to create a life full of love and compassion for myself and others. That I am sent to earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. When I think about these things I am able to process the frustrations of life. Sometimes when thoughts come into my head I ask myself is this true? And when it is not, I visualize the thought on a conveyor belt and tell myself “It was just a thought it is not your truth” This helps me be more compassionate with myself and others.
When I went on the retreat with Get out their girl, I expected to be the uncool and socially awkward one in the group. After meeting and being around all the women at the retreat I realized that we are all the same. We all feel insecure at times. I was blessed to get to know and be around such a fun group. I felt love and acceptance from each of them individually and as a whole group. I will continue to work on my self-compassion every day until I am a self-compassion, self-love guru.
Sheri is my mom’s bf and coworker. For years I have heard how amazing and how adventurous she is. Every word was true. Sheri is a woman who has values and knows her value. I have loved getting to know her through GOTG activities. Now I know why my mom loves her so much. She is fabulous!
Sheri’s Story:
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children. A belief that I held in my childhood was that I needed to fight for attention. That felt that I was unwanted and unloved. This carried over into adulthood and into a marriage that was unhealthy. This situation created more self-destructive beliefs about who I was. I believed that I was hard to be around and unlovable. I believed there was nothing special about me at all. I ended up in a divorce that was a roller coaster ride. I started dating and this was a train wreck. One thing I did gain from dating is that I did have qualities that were at least likable. I learned through so many years of self-doubt and self-disapproval that I was unable to love myself. This caused me some serious self-reflection. I am very skilled in self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
I am a professional at self-reflection. I like to examine every story that I find bouncing around in my head. This can be both good and bad. Through self-reflection, I have learned some habits of self-compassion. I ask myself- Is this true? Then I reflect on how the story that is my head is from my perspective. Did this person intentionally think “how can I make Sheri’s life horrible?” And the answer is always no. They have their own story. This process is something that I ask about myself as well. Did I intentionally hurt myself or others? And the answer is always no. Do I know better now? Was I doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time? This helps me from feeling shame or disappointed in myself. This is a practice I DO EVERYDAY. How can I use the experience to learn and grow? When I ponder truths that I know about myself, such as I am a divine daughter of God and I was created with special talents that I need to create a life full of love and compassion for myself and others. That I am sent to earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. When I think about these things I am able to process the frustrations of life. Sometimes when thoughts come into my head I ask myself is this true? And when it is not, I visualize the thought on a conveyor belt and tell myself “It was just a thought it is not your truth” This helps me be more compassionate with myself and others.
When I went on the retreat with Get out their girl, I expected to be the uncool and socially awkward one in the group. After meeting and being around all the women at the retreat I realized that we are all the same. We all feel insecure at times. I was blessed to get to know and be around such a fun group. I felt love and acceptance from each of them individually and as a whole group. I will continue to work on my self-compassion every day until I am a self-compassion, self-love guru.
Chelsea and I met over a year ago at her first GOTG retreat. She had just moved to Utah from Ohio and was looking for friends who loved the outdoors. I will forever be grateful for hashtags because that is how Chelsea found GOTG. Chelsea has become a good friend who I love hanging out with every chance I get. She is fun, genuine, honest, and kind. All the things I look for in a friend.
Jasmine was our yoga instructor on the June Yoga Retreat. Jasmine came to the retreat ready to make friends and be a friend. She was full of life and kindness. Not only did we all love her teaching style but we also all loved her personality. She was such a light on the retreat and I will always be grateful she came.
“One of my favorite things about the retreat was getting to know other inspirational women. We were all so different and in different stages in life, but I felt like we were all cheering each other on.
Sometimes it’s easy to judge when we see each other from a distance on social media. It’s easy to compare, to put on a pedestal, or to criticize unfairly. When you are up close and personal with other women, you see we are all the same inside. We are all just doing our best to live this life, to speak our truth, and to make a difference in our own unique way.
As I hiked with different people, I heard different stories…different voices…but I realized we are all one. Unity does not mean sameness, unity means supporting others to be who they were meant to be.
I asked Brittany what motivated her to create “Get Out There Girl,” as I had not heard her story before. As soon as she answered, I knew she had the vision of unique women supporting each other that I had witnessed at the retreat. I knew that she knew how important it was to connect with each other, to connect with nature, and come back to the core truth that we are all in this together, and the fact that we are alone is just an illusion. Thank you, Brittany, for being willing to step out of your comfort zone and create a space (both digitally and physically) where women can experience growth and healing by forming connections with each other and with nature.”
