🌟 It’s Share-My-Story Monday! 🌟 Because of GOTG I have heard countless stories from women demonstrating their strength and resilience. I felt strongly that others needed to hear these stories as well. We need to connect with each other through our humanity. I hope you read the stories and see the connection you have with other women. See your shared humanity. See your similarities. See the courage. See the strength. See yourself in each story.
I have always enjoyed the outdoors, nature and connecting with it. There is just something about it that refreshes and clears my mind. I honestly am happy anytime I can hike, bike, run or just be outside in general. I love waking up every morning to the sun coming up over the beautiful Wasatch mountains. I spent time sharing this with my kids and somewhere along the way I forgot about how much I enjoyed nature. I don’t really know what happened looking back, I guess just getting busy with life and kids and all their activities and being married to someone who didn’t love nature like I did. I lost myself.
One day I walked past the mirror in my bathroom and didn’t even recognize the person I had become. I was the heaviest I had ever been, in an unfulfilling marriage and my kids were well on their way to adulthood. How did this happen? Who am I? I began to do A LOT of soul searching which lead my right back to nature and all the things I had once loved. I started to spend more time outdoors, incorporating friends who also love the outdoors.
I don’t really know how I found Get Out There Girl, I think it was on Facebook. I’m not sure if was an advertisement or someone else’s post but it was for a retreat in Zion. Perfect!! One my most favorite places!! I signed up with no expectations and by myself and thought no matter what happens I will be able to enjoy some of my favorite places. It was incredible!! I met some amazing people and had so much fun making new friends and connections. I loved that they accepted me, and I didn’t have to be anything more than me. I also went on the snowmobile retreat in January. I’m still learning to be vulnerable and open. On the way to the retreat in January I was driving with some amazing ladies who I didn’t know before this retreat. I felt compelled to share with them, not sure why. They listened to me and gave me valuable feedback, they allowed me to be vulnerable and showed me so much compassion and love. I can’t say enough about Brittany and these retreats! I absolutely love going, I love and value the friendships that I’ve made. Get Out There Girl is much more than some fruffy retreats, it’s a sisterhood I’m happy to be a part of.
It might seem crazy that I’m writing about my friend rule during a stay at home order and a pandemic wrecking havoc on the world. When this is all over we will probably run and hug the mailman we will be so excited to be around people again. And as for friends…well everyone will be our friend right?
Even with the anticipated excitement of being able to socialize in person again, I still think it’s a good idea to have boundaries regarding the people you surround yourself with. I personally have a 3 strike rule for new friendships. That might sound awful but it’s really not. These “strikes” are just boundaries that I have made to insure that I make the right friends.
Here is my rule when it comes to new friendships. I give the people I meet and want to be friends with 3 chances to be my friend and if they don’t show interest after the 3 chances then I stop trying. That simple. Not so terrible right? Let me explain with an example.
A new girl, Cindy, moves into my neighborhood. I invite Cindy to do something with me. She says, “Thanks but I’m busy. Maybe another time?” She’s very polite but not available. I think okay no problem. I’ll ask again. STRIKE 1
Next time I invite Cindy to do something she has to decline again. In between both of these invites she has not reached out to me at all. STRIKE 2
I reach out to Cindy a third time, but again she declines and doesn’t show any interest in scheduling another time for us to get together. She doesn’t say anything that even resembles, “I can’t on Tuesday but next Thursday I’m free. Want to get together then?” STRIKE 3.
Cindy is no longer a woman I will be reaching out to. We may very well become great friends later on, but only if she initiates it. If she reaches out to me and tries to plan something then I look forward to it and the chances of us becoming friends is high.
You see, I believe in being around people who want to be around me. If after three attempts and invitations to hang out there is no reciprocation on her part, I will put my focus on making other friends. I don’t hold a grudge against Cindy and I don’t judge her or wish her evil. I don’t gossip about her or tell others “oh yeah I tried to hang out 3 times and she didn’t want to be my friend.” No nothing like that. I don’t hold anything against her, I just won’t reach out to her anymore until I see some level of interest from her.
You might be saying well what if Cindy really was busy or had other plans on the days you invited her. To which I would respond yes, she probably did. The difference is that if Cindy really was interested in being my friend and I invited her to do something (3 times!) then she would have suggested another day to get together. It’s that simple.
It’s just like dating but for friends. If a guy asked you out three times and you politely declined each time didn’t you hope he got the hint and didn’t ask a fourth time? It just gets awkward. I don’t want to force anyone to be my friend.
I love all my friends and I love having so many friends. I value friendship. I don’t think there is ever a point of having too many friends, I always want more. I hope my friends know how much I value them. My life is better with each and every friend I have.
What do you think of my 3 strikes rule? Do you have any boundaries around new friendships? If so, I would love to hear them.