My biggest struggle, hands down, is worrying about what others think of me. I have always been a people pleaser, and, while on the one hand I’m very empathetic and caring to others, I let it cross the line of my authenticity when I try to change who I am to make others feel something.
In my journey of personal development, I have learned that there is a difference between trying to make others feel better out of love and concern for them and trying to make others feel something different than they are feeling so that I can feel better about myself. The latter is manipulation and control.
I can see where I have needed the validation of others to approve of myself. Just gaining the awareness of that need was the first step in gaining the self love necessary to love myself for who I am and not for what other people think I am.
And while I am not perfect at it because I still have that natural desire to make everyone happy, even at the expense of my own happiness, I feel a stronger inner sense of confidence and self compassion that gives me peace even when other people aren’t approving of me.
I am grateful for Get Out There Girl’s message of self compassion in the self compassion workbook because it has reinforced the principles I am learning. It feels so good to surround myself with like-minded women who want to lift and build each other up. I had an amazing experience on the March Day Retreat and hope to go on a Weekend Retreat when they start up again!
Thanks for sharing a part of your story Melissa! We love you!
Melissa is a life coach who has several mind and time management courses. She is a wonderful and inspirational person to follow. Follow her here.