I am so grateful for each woman who shares her story with us. There is power in connection and vulnerability. Melissa is an amazing woman who I love being around. She radiates a love for life that is contagious. You can feel her strength and her resilience when you are around her. When you read her story you will see that life hasn’t turned out the way she planned but she has embraced it and made it wonderful. I just love her attitude and her strength! Thank you for sharing and being a wonderful example to all of us Melissa.
Melissa’s Story:
When I was a teenager I imagined a yellow brick road to eternal bliss upon which I would perfectly make everyone in my circles happy and proud of me. I would have a joyful marriage with adventures my husband would plan for us, a handful of kids and I would be totally appreciated as a stay-at-home mom. Today I am 46 years old with 5 awesome kids. I’ve been divorced twice and have needed YEARS of therapy to recover from two deeply damaging marriages (and divorces) and very low self-esteem. At times I felt hopeless, weak and all I could do was cry and wish for someone to come save me.
I have had to redefine my hopes and dreams and take charge of them myself. Amazing therapists and my own determination have guided me to develop the strength to trust myself, learn my own value, and feel empowered to create my own happiness. It has been so hard and has not come naturally to me! I now work full time, run my own household, and recognize that I no longer need or want someone to save me. I have learned how to save myself!
I didn’t use to practice the art of being kind to myself. Did you know perfection is impossible? It has taken time to gently understand that I am just doing the best I can in each deficient moment and with each mistake. Instead of criticizing myself, I have worked to view each fall as a teaching moment and learn from it. I needed to accept my imperfections and love myself exactly as I am. This has been crucial! Without even realizing it, I’m also teaching my kids about self-care by showing them what that looks like when I handle my mistakes with grace and take time for myself to go on adventures for personal fulfillment.
How does a single mom express her adventurous side? “Mom Fieldtrips” with my incredible kids started out small with local hikes. All we needed were shoes on our feet and a map on my phone. As I have become more courageous, our activities have progressed into weekends out of town camping, spelunking, and strapping on microspikes so we can hike to frozen waterfalls.
Another step in my journey has been slowly testing my courage without my kids. Last fall for the first time I spent a few weekends canyoneering and I even rappelled down a 300 foot drop-off! I am so proud of myself. When I head into the mountains I feel the weight of life on my shoulders. Once I hit the trail those worries disappear because of the beauty surrounding me. I’m the girl who exclaims every 10 feet, “Oh! What a gorgeous view! Look at the river! Can you hear the birds?” Being out in nature is therapy for my soul.
One thing that has been missing for me in these adventures has been connecting with women who are looking for the same thing. Last fall I found Get Out There Girl and a few other female-based hiking groups. In January I was able to go up to Starr Valley, Wyoming on a dogsledding weekend with Brittany and 10 women I had never met before. I was nervous! Would they like me? Would I feel comfortable? Would I like them? I was thrilled to discover that each of these women also came seeking connection. We shared about our relationships and experiences in open ways that allowed us to get to know each other’s hearts and intentions. Brittany taught a workshop on vulnerability that resonated with me. You get what you put into something. If you come into a situation willing to listen and share with open hearts, you’re going to be able to connect with people who are doing the same thing.
Life is happier when I am kind to myself and I make myself a priority. I can’t wait to meet more women who are doing the same and to see where my next adventures will take me!
Sheri is my mom’s bf and coworker. For years I have heard how amazing and how adventurous she is. Every word was true. Sheri is a woman who has values and knows her value. I have loved getting to know her through GOTG activities. Now I know why my mom loves her so much. She is fabulous!
Sheri’s Story:
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children. A belief that I held in my childhood was that I needed to fight for attention. That felt that I was unwanted and unloved. This carried over into adulthood and into a marriage that was unhealthy. This situation created more self-destructive beliefs about who I was. I believed that I was hard to be around and unlovable. I believed there was nothing special about me at all. I ended up in a divorce that was a roller coaster ride. I started dating and this was a train wreck. One thing I did gain from dating is that I did have qualities that were at least likable. I learned through so many years of self-doubt and self-disapproval that I was unable to love myself. This caused me some serious self-reflection. I am very skilled in self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
I am a professional at self-reflection. I like to examine every story that I find bouncing around in my head. This can be both good and bad. Through self-reflection, I have learned some habits of self-compassion. I ask myself- Is this true? Then I reflect on how the story that is my head is from my perspective. Did this person intentionally think “how can I make Sheri’s life horrible?” And the answer is always no. They have their own story. This process is something that I ask about myself as well. Did I intentionally hurt myself or others? And the answer is always no. Do I know better now? Was I doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time? This helps me from feeling shame or disappointed in myself. This is a practice I DO EVERYDAY. How can I use the experience to learn and grow? When I ponder truths that I know about myself, such as I am a divine daughter of God and I was created with special talents that I need to create a life full of love and compassion for myself and others. That I am sent to earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. When I think about these things I am able to process the frustrations of life. Sometimes when thoughts come into my head I ask myself is this true? And when it is not, I visualize the thought on a conveyor belt and tell myself “It was just a thought it is not your truth” This helps me be more compassionate with myself and others.
When I went on the retreat with Get out their girl, I expected to be the uncool and socially awkward one in the group. After meeting and being around all the women at the retreat I realized that we are all the same. We all feel insecure at times. I was blessed to get to know and be around such a fun group. I felt love and acceptance from each of them individually and as a whole group. I will continue to work on my self-compassion every day until I am a self-compassion, self-love guru.
Sheri is my mom’s bf and coworker. For years I have heard how amazing and how adventurous she is. Every word was true. Sheri is a woman who has values and knows her value. I have loved getting to know her through GOTG activities. Now I know why my mom loves her so much. She is fabulous!
Sheri’s Story:
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children. A belief that I held in my childhood was that I needed to fight for attention. That felt that I was unwanted and unloved. This carried over into adulthood and into a marriage that was unhealthy. This situation created more self-destructive beliefs about who I was. I believed that I was hard to be around and unlovable. I believed there was nothing special about me at all. I ended up in a divorce that was a roller coaster ride. I started dating and this was a train wreck. One thing I did gain from dating is that I did have qualities that were at least likable. I learned through so many years of self-doubt and self-disapproval that I was unable to love myself. This caused me some serious self-reflection. I am very skilled in self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
I am a professional at self-reflection. I like to examine every story that I find bouncing around in my head. This can be both good and bad. Through self-reflection, I have learned some habits of self-compassion. I ask myself- Is this true? Then I reflect on how the story that is my head is from my perspective. Did this person intentionally think “how can I make Sheri’s life horrible?” And the answer is always no. They have their own story. This process is something that I ask about myself as well. Did I intentionally hurt myself or others? And the answer is always no. Do I know better now? Was I doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time? This helps me from feeling shame or disappointed in myself. This is a practice I DO EVERYDAY. How can I use the experience to learn and grow? When I ponder truths that I know about myself, such as I am a divine daughter of God and I was created with special talents that I need to create a life full of love and compassion for myself and others. That I am sent to earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. When I think about these things I am able to process the frustrations of life. Sometimes when thoughts come into my head I ask myself is this true? And when it is not, I visualize the thought on a conveyor belt and tell myself “It was just a thought it is not your truth” This helps me be more compassionate with myself and others.
When I went on the retreat with Get out their girl, I expected to be the uncool and socially awkward one in the group. After meeting and being around all the women at the retreat I realized that we are all the same. We all feel insecure at times. I was blessed to get to know and be around such a fun group. I felt love and acceptance from each of them individually and as a whole group. I will continue to work on my self-compassion every day until I am a self-compassion, self-love guru.
Chelsea and I met over a year ago at her first GOTG retreat. She had just moved to Utah from Ohio and was looking for friends who loved the outdoors. I will forever be grateful for hashtags because that is how Chelsea found GOTG. Chelsea has become a good friend who I love hanging out with every chance I get. She is fun, genuine, honest, and kind. All the things I look for in a friend.
Jasmine was our yoga instructor on the June Yoga Retreat. Jasmine came to the retreat ready to make friends and be a friend. She was full of life and kindness. Not only did we all love her teaching style but we also all loved her personality. She was such a light on the retreat and I will always be grateful she came.
“One of my favorite things about the retreat was getting to know other inspirational women. We were all so different and in different stages in life, but I felt like we were all cheering each other on.
Sometimes it’s easy to judge when we see each other from a distance on social media. It’s easy to compare, to put on a pedestal, or to criticize unfairly. When you are up close and personal with other women, you see we are all the same inside. We are all just doing our best to live this life, to speak our truth, and to make a difference in our own unique way.
As I hiked with different people, I heard different stories…different voices…but I realized we are all one. Unity does not mean sameness, unity means supporting others to be who they were meant to be.
I asked Brittany what motivated her to create “Get Out There Girl,” as I had not heard her story before. As soon as she answered, I knew she had the vision of unique women supporting each other that I had witnessed at the retreat. I knew that she knew how important it was to connect with each other, to connect with nature, and come back to the core truth that we are all in this together, and the fact that we are alone is just an illusion. Thank you, Brittany, for being willing to step out of your comfort zone and create a space (both digitally and physically) where women can experience growth and healing by forming connections with each other and with nature.”
I knew that the day would come when Brittany would ask me to share my story. Honestly, I was super hesitant and did not want to because I had no clue where to even begin with “my story,” but I am a big people pleaser and advocate for getting out of your comfort zone, so here it is. I prefer not to be in the spotlight. I tend to be a perfectionist and over analyze everything. I try really hard to come across as a chill and go with the flow kind of girl (and I am in many aspects of my life) but when it comes to being vulnerable sharing something about myself, I would rather just run the other way. I struggle with what people think of me more than I would like to admit and don’t want people to think I’m crazy. I logically know these are self-defeating thoughts. After all, I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and have heard many stories before and if anything, I feel more connected to a person when they are at their most vulnerable times in their life. In fact, I honor it. I admire it. So why is it so difficult for me to do the same with others? I’m human and have acknowledged that I struggle with fear and anxiety.
Becoming a mother almost 12 years ago, really threw a curve ball at me. When my oldest two were toddlers, I remember feeling like this would never end and my life was doomed to just cleaning up messes every. single. day. I always knew that I really wanted to stay home with my kids to raise them and not have to work outside the home. However, there were many days I wanted to just escape and run away. I felt like I couldn’t breathe at times. I do work from home teaching online courses which I thought was way harder for me since what would take me two hours working outside the home literally took me all day long. I was so overwhelmed. I knew some action had to be taken. I finally decided to send them to daycare for a few hours a couple of times a week and I felt so guilty at first that I couldn’t just take on the world and had to ask for help. Asking for help is definitely not my strong suit. I knew that I needed this and my kids needed it too. I became so stressed that I would be on edge all the time and yell at them way too much. I even tried to work outside the home full-time a few years ago. I really enjoyed some parts of it, but it was too much at the time. I respect working moms so much. Over the years, I have learned that self-compassion is so essential to life and especially in my role as a mother. We are so quick to lay on the mom guilt that can become an overwhelming shame that lies deep within us. I have been so grateful for women that have come into my life where I have been able to open up with and connect. It has been a saving grace for me. I am a strong, independent woman and often feel like I should be able to get through things on my own. I quickly am reminded that it takes strength to ask for help and realize that you need other people in your life. When I struggled through two miscarriages, great women beside me helped me through those difficult losses. When I was losing my hair to an autoimmune disease, alopecia areata, so many friends were there for me. I was fortunate to find out that I had celiac which keeps my alopecia at bay for now and I have my hair. While I don’t like to be in the spotlight and center of attention, we all want to be seen. I’m so grateful for good people that see me. Bottom line, women need women. We are better together. I know I would feel guilty at first when I would get together with my girlfriends and that it was taking away quality time with my husband and kids. I have since learned that it is so essential for my emotional and mental health to give myself this gift to connect with other women. This is where I can recharge and come back a stronger and better person, wife, and mother.
I first heard about GOTG from a Facebook post that an old college friend Laura shared about the cowgirl retreat. My curiosity peaked and I thought this sounds fun and at such an affordable price. I went back and forth on it and finally told my husband and he told me to go ahead and just do it. I then found myself signing up for it still not quite so sure about this. I legitimately thought that it was possibly a scam. I knew nothing about this company or group. I am super shy and reserved, but I am so glad that I went out of my comfort zone and went. I really thought most girls there would really be like riding horses their whole life and I would feel so out of place. While there were a few amazing riders, everyone there was so nice and never felt like I did not belong. I love my time there being able to stretch myself in ways I haven’t before. The snowmobile retreat was a similar experience and don’t regret going on either one. These experiences have enriched my life. Thank you Brittany for all the good work you do and the amazing women I have met.
Kim and her friend Laura hiking on the Cowgirl Retreat
